For Leslie

Thanks for the clothes!!!

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Yay for Husbands

This might be my favorite thing about motherhood:

I was in the middle of doing something when I looked out our front window and saw Nathaniel outside with Summer. He had plopped her down in the grass and she didn't look too sure about it. I could hear him encouraging her, but she didn't go for it and just climbed onto his lap. Unfortunately, this is the best picture I got of that little moment.

Why is it just the sweetest thing in the world to see the man you love more than anyone play with the baby you'd do anything for?

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Part Seven

Yeah, I'm still doing this.

You know that feeling that you get when there's someone in your life? When you find someone who makes you happy and who likes you, too? Your heart seems to beat a bit faster. Food looses its appeal. Sleep becomes an unwelcome intrusion and thoughts of that special someone take its place.

After Nathaniel and I became a couple I just couldn't shake that giddy feeling. I didn't want to feel like that. I wanted to stay on top of my emotions and ensure that reason prevailed. But I guess I didn't want that badly enough because I abandoned myself to the excitement. I let myself smile like a fool whenever I thought of Nathaniel and our moments together. I couldn't help but stay awake into the night, re-playing our every interaction until sleep finally took over. At the GAL's office I could do little else but stare at the file I was supposed to summarize and daydream.

Nathaniel was, as far as I could tell, as close to perfect as anyone I had met. He could see the heart of the issue in every conversation we had. When he knew what he thought on the subject, he never hesitated to voice his well-reasoned opinion. When he didn't know, he unabashedly stated so. But his rationality was tempered with a generous dose of empathy. Nathaniel always tried to look at a situation from someone else's point of view and really tried to understand others. I had never in my dating life encountered someone who could be so logical and yet so caring and dang it, that was sexy.

I was so amused by the things he got excited about. Nathaniel doesn't care for candy bars, but when, at work, they gave out candy bars as a reward, he was determined to get as many as he could. He said he wanted to get enough candy bars to have a drawer full. I told him I thought it was silly. He agreed and abandoned the idea. I wish I hand't said that. How fun it would have been to see him reach his goal and have a drawer full of candy.

Oh, and about work, Nathaniel's abilities to do it bordered on superhuman. He had one of the worst jobs I could imagine: he cold-called people and asked them abut their finances. He hated it, but he willingly worked eight-hour days and more when he could. His attitude was nothing new: he worked on a paper route when he was young and had held a job ever since, including a grueling stint in an asphalt refinery.

I don't think it has every occurred to Nathaniel that there was something he couldn't do. Except, maybe, fly. Or nurse Summer.

I wanted to go into how much I loved talking to Nathaniel about the gospel, but I need to get to the point. The point is this: for a few blessed weeks, I went along as Nathaniel's girlfriend, thinking he was so rational and amazing and wonderful and then, suddenly, he shattered that image during a fight we had about Dryer's Slow-Churned Double Fudge Brownie Ice Cream.

When on a double date, we were given the task of getting some ice cream from the store. As we walked down the ice cream isle, looking at all the tantalizing frozen delights behind the glass doors, Nathaniel said sweetly, as any good boyfriend would, "Pick whatever kind you want."

My last boyfriend and I stumbled on what we believed was the most amazing ice cream ever: Double Fudge Brownie. I quickly fell in love with the creamy vanilla ice cream with chocolate swirls and toothsome chunks of brownie. It wasn't until we ate several bowls that we discovered it was low-fat. But we didn't let that stop us and we ate the entire carton way too fast.

I found the correct carton and picked it up. Nathaniel looked at the carton and immediately saw the "1/2 the fat!" logo. "Low fat?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, but it's really good. I don't want it because it's low fat. I just like it."

"Wouldn't you rather have something..." Nathaniel stared at the endless alternatives, not finishing his sentence. I waited.

"I hate low fat," he finally said. "If you want to loose weight, just eat less."

"Have you ever tried losing weight?" I asked.

"Yes, and I didn't eat low fat crap." I had forgotten I was talking to a former intense high school wrestler.

After we discussed it a bit more, I said, "Well, whatever. We can get a different one, but this would be my pick." What a brat I was. But he had, after all, said I could pick the ice cream.

He bought it. Looking back, I can't imagine many things Nathaniel would rather NOT do than spend his heard-earned money on low-fat ice cream. He was pretty upset.

"Why are you so against low-fat ice cream?" I asked him on the way to his friend's house.

"Because! It's not real!" He said this as though he was explaining to me why it's wrong to kill people. "It's mixed in with a bunch of chemicals that supposedly makes it taste better. Why do you want to eat chemicals when you can have the real thing?"

"Well, me, I just happen to like this ice cream a lot. But some people, when they want to loose weight, low-fat options are good because then they can eat as much as they usually do and still loose weight."

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I'm pretty sure full fat ice cream is healthier than chemicals. If you want to loose weight, just eat less. It's not. that. hard." His tone of voice told me that we were having our first real argument.

I laughed. "I can't believe you're getting so worked up over low fat ice cream. If people want to eat it, who cares?"

If I'm upset and someone asks me why I'm getting so worked up about it, well, let's just say it's not a good idea. Don't do it.

But Nathaniel smiled. "I don't know. But I hate it."

I don't remember when we got over our little argument. But it wasn't on the way home. I think we just didn't bring it up the next day and went on our merry way, being sure not to bring up Double Fudge Brownie.

By the way, I've read a lot of food blogs since then, and now I think Nathaniel was totally right. No extra chemicals in my ice cream, thank you very much.

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Ten Months

I'm pretty sure we have the cutest ten-month old ever. And that is a purely objective opinion, I assure you. I would take a picture to prove it, but our camera is somewhere not here. But, really, a camera isn't necessary because it's not just Summer's looks that make her so irresistible. It's not just her sweet brown eyes, her dimples, or her four new teeth. It's not just her generous mane of hair (that's hopefully not red or Nathaniel will freak out) or the way her body looks so teeny-tiny.

Summer is the cutest ten-month old ever because, when she's in a room full of people who start clapping, she stops whatever she's doing and claps along with them. Because when we're in church and during a quiet moment, she lets out a good, long toot and then cracks up with everyone else. Because of her adorable "ba ba bee da, ma ma ba" noises she makes as she crawls around, usually carrying something in her fist like toy or a pair of earrings, or, in today's case, a hammer.

I love this girl so much. When I was younger, I always thought it amazing that of all the people in the world, I was me. It's even more amazing that Summer is her own little person, sent to us from heaven. I feel so lucky to have her and to get to really know her. And yay, she's ten months old.

P.S. We had another weight check. She gained 4 oz in the past month. Not so good. So we're going back in a week to check her weight again. In the meantime, we're working extra hard to fatten her up. I made roast chicken for dinner tonight and Nathaniel and I gave Summer (among other foods) bits of bread smeared with butter and then slathered in chicken juices. She loved it.

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