The News

So I can't find my camera. It's probably hiding behind the couch along with my keys watching me as I frantically search for them. They probably had a good laugh when they saw me freak out about how I couldn't find the Bumbo only to locate it hours later behind the bathroom door. Judging by the fact that a roll of packing tape recently suprised me by popping out from a huge bag of vegetables in the freezer, I'm not holding out hope of finding our camera any time soon. I hope Summer doesn't grow too much before it decides to out itself.

So, the picture-less news. The title of this post makes me want to rant out the real-life news, and how it ticks me off that journalists are willing to scare the living daylights out of the population so they can make a buck, but I'll leave that post for later, if ever. Here, you'll be finding the real-life news of our little world.

So, I might have a job. But there is an equal chance I might not. I have a legal assignment that might lead to something steady and it has reminded me that I actually like doing legal work! So that whole law school thing might have been a good idea.

The law school thing was definately a good idea for Nathaniel. He loves it and he grasps everything well. I'm amazed. I wish he could take the bar for me.

I got my child addicted to sugar. Until today, Summer would not take her pacifier without a bit of sugar on the end. I know, I shouldn't have done it as much as I did, if at all, but holy crap this girl WILL NOT SLEEP. Yesterday, she slept for nine hours at night and then an hour during the day. I'm really okay with that as long as she's healthy, and I think it's healthy for her to sleep a bit more. Luckily, today, after a fervent prayer, I stuck a recently-washed pacifier into her mouth and she took it! So now, Summer will only take a pacifier that has water on it. Weird, but better than sugar.

Summer is freaking cute. Here's an old pic.


It really doesn't to her justice because she's way cuter now. Have you ever seen a kid who is learning to sit up by propping herself on her fists lift up her head and smile at you? If not, you're missing out. Come over and I'll show you.

Squeamish guys should not read this paragraph! I had to buy tampons today. TMI probably, but I feel like I warned you so it's fair. Yeah, tampons. WTF? Summer is less than five months old and I am still nursing every three hours during the day! I turned a few heads when I plunked a box of 36 supers into my shopping cart and yelled "crap," but I think they would have understood if they knew how much I had counted on a lot more time tampon-free.

I love my friends. I don't keep in contact with them as much as I should, but I think about them often and they make me happy. For example, I don't know what I would do without my long talks with Crystal. Crystal and I were in the same ward in Georgia when we were in high school. She is great because she's really smart, she has an amazing perspective on life, and she appreciates crass humor. And when I say smart, I mean really really really smart. If she and the chair of the philosophy department were to talk philosophers, Crystal would totally hold her own. A while ago (three years ago?) Crystal and her husband were stopped at a red light when a teenage girl hit them head on. The accident gave Crystal chronic back pain and since then a major portion her life has been dedicated to managing it. All her plans for more education, a career, and children have been put on hold. Indefinitely. Despite her struggles, our most recent phone conversation focused on who? Me. She helped me see my situation in life as a mother a truly special one and made me see that my view that worth was somehow contingent on a career as flawed. I have been truly happy being a mother and I don't know if I could have done it without Crystal's words of wisdom. Friends are awesome.

The End.

Yeah, that whole "read more..." thing. A lie. If you click on it, you won't read more.

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Hope

I love this. I don't love that the size proves once and for all that I am not good at blogging, but I do love the video.

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Our Sweet Little Baby Boy

First Carrots!

Isn't he adorable?

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Fancy Pants Snack Recipe

If it weren’t for the fact that I’m putting pressure on myself to make money, I would be extremely content with life. Which is to say that right now, I’m very content. I don’t really feel like I do anything during the day that sounds particularly exciting, but I always go to bed mostly satisfied with my day and excited for the next to start.

Today, for instance, I brought Nathaniel a snack while he studied at school. Honestly, how lame does that sound? If I read that on someone else’s blog before this year, I would assume she’s the oppressed housewife who slaves away cooking and cleaning and changing diapers while her husband gets to expand his mind with the exciting study of the law.

However, bringing Nathaniel that snack was the best part of my great day.

As I drove home from Costco (I’m addicted to those uncooked tortillas you get there; I can’t help it), I called Nathaniel to plan out our evening together and I mentioned that if he got hungry, I’d bring him something. He jumped on the offer immediately.

While Summer was napping, I looked around for something to get him and felt completely uninspired. We had lots of random stuff, and ingredients for good meals, but nothing quick and snack-like. Maybe I’d just bring him a can of green beans.

When I opened the freezer for the fifth time, I decided I needed to do something with that Sourdough loaf I’d gotten at WalMart for half off. Garlic bread? I looked in the pantry, again, and saw we had a can of Cannellini beans that I got on sale. Italian bean dip?

I have heard that being an attorney in the internet age is really just highly-specialized googleing. My law school education bears that out and I can find anything on the internets. I quickly found a recipe that was fast and easy. As luck would have it, I had all the ingredients.

So I made bean dip. I pulled the cover off of the food processor and scooped a bit of the creamy dip into my mouth. Yum. Basically an Italian version of hummus. I sliced the sourdough bread and broiled it on both sides until it was slightly charred, and I had a pretty fancy pants snack for stuff that I just had laying around.

When I unwrapped the toasted bread for Nathaniel, I was proud. I had used my internet skills and resourcefulness to make something awesome and save Nathaniel from either spending money on some mediocre food product or, more likely, from having a hunger headache.

After Nathaniel had finished eating, we talked about how his research for his second memo was going as he dangled Summer from her feet. As I looked at the two of them laughing and at the Tupperware with the leftover dip, I knew I’d never be this happy working at a law firm.

Cannellini Bean Dip

From Inn Cuisine, who got it from Giada.

· 1/3 cup Olive Oil

· 1 teaspoon dried Oregano

· 1/2 teaspoon Salt, plus more to taste

· 1/4 teaspoon Pepper, plus more to taste

· 1 (15 ounce) can Cannellini Beans, drained & rinsed

· 1/4 cup (loosely packed) fresh flat-leaf Parsley Leaves (I used dried because who uses fresh parsley often enough to keep it on hand?)

· 2 tablespoons fresh Lemon Juice (from about 1/2 a lemon)

· 1 clove Garlic

Put it in the food processor and go to town.

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The Simple Pleasures of Motherhood

We got Summer a new crib.



I think she likes it.



Don't you?

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Finally, Part 5

By the way, I got this idea from the Pioneer Woman. You should check her out. She has some awesome recipes, too. Some amazingly unhealthy ones too, but mostly awesome.

I lay on the floor, hoping that I wiped away the tear before Nathaniel saw it.

I did like Nathaniel just a little more after I heard that story. So yes, as much as I hate to admit it, I can add to the arsenal of anecdotal evidence that girls like a guy who can be just a little bit bad. Or at least participate in borderline inappropriate behavior.

After the date, when we arrived at the Elms, Nathaniel parked his car and turned off the engine. Neither of us moved to exit, instead continuing our easy chatter. When there was finally a lull in the conversation, Nathaniel said, “I’m not tired.”

“Me neither,” I replied.

“We should do something.”

It made me just a bit giddy that he didn’t want the night to be over, either. “Hot tubbing?” I asked.

“Yes!”

And so we went.

When people ask when I first started to really like Nathaniel, I say it was when I first saw him take his shirt off.

As we sat in the bubbly warm water, we discussed some political hot topic about which we completely disagreed. Eventually, Nathaniel said, “That’s okay. I’ll win you over anyway.”

I think I might have blushed. I couldn’t believe how giddy this guy could make me.

The next day, I woke up thinking of our amazing time together. I wondered if he was at work. I was itching to see him again, and almost went over to his apartment, when I remembered something: I just broke off my engagement four months ago. I just freaked out over the fact that my ex was dating someone else. I had issues.

I could not get into a relationship.

I didn’t think that hanging out with Nathaniel was off limits. And the occasional date was fine. But exclusivity—that I was not prepared for.

So instead of going over to Nathaniel’s apartment, I finished up some work for my externship and thought about how to branch out. I needed to hang out with other guys. I would just get myself sorta attached to several, so there was no way I could get too attached to Nathaniel!

Yeah, I was dumb. Well, I kinda still am.

Anyway, I kept dating other people. The guys I dated were, and in fact, are, amazing people. Truly. But when they asked me out for a third or fourth date, the rational part of me triumphed over the part of me that wanted to see where things would go. As much as I hated rejecting guys, I knew I needed more time unattached. Time to figure out who I was, what I wanted, and where my life was going. And I was enjoying every minute of it.

But when Nathaniel asked me out the third time, the rational part of my brain shut down completely. I just couldn’t turn him down. But, we hadn’t kissed or held hands yet, so there was really no relationship. Right?

Our third date was awesome because it was our first date with just the two of us. I’ve decided that group dates are best when you’re not that into your date. But when you actually like your date and want to spend time with him, I’m honestly just not in the mood to make conversation with other people.

We got Thai from Thai Ruby. I loved that Nathaniel didn’t bat an eye when I was overenthusiastic about certain dishes and ordered for him. I also loved it that he laughed along with me when the waitress “complemented” my hair my saying it looked like a party on my head. And I loved that he didn’t feel pressure to do any fancy date things. We went to a friend’s art show and then to Rock Canyon Park with some blankets to look at the stars. Cliché, I know. But I didn’t care. I just couldn’t get enough of this guy.

We lay about two feet apart, on our stomachs, chatting about the stars. I was to the point that I really wanted to cuddle with him, but of course I didn’t have the guts to make a move. I was elated when I felt Nathaniel’s hand on my upper arm and I immediately scooted over so he could hug me more. Don’t you love that feeling? When every spot where your bodies touch tingles with excitement, but it’s so innocent because it’s just cuddling? I thought it showed a lot of confidence on Nathaniel’s part that he just went for it like that.

By the end of the night, I wasn’t so sure I could reject him. Ever. Maybe I’d just have to risk him rejecting me, after all. And we’d only known each other for three weeks.

Much later, when we were engaged, I found out that Nathaniel’s “I’ll win you over” statement in the hot tub wasn’t referring to winning me over romantically, as I assumed, but instead winning me over to his way of thinking. And when he reached over to cuddle me? He was just trying to tickle me. Lame.

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Four Months

Part Five is pretty much done. Nathaniel has to read it first. He might make me take stuff out. I might leave it in anyway.

But first, today is Summer's four month birthday. It's amazing that she's been in my world for a third of a year. What am amazing third of a year it's been.

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