Finally, Part 5

By the way, I got this idea from the Pioneer Woman. You should check her out. She has some awesome recipes, too. Some amazingly unhealthy ones too, but mostly awesome.

I lay on the floor, hoping that I wiped away the tear before Nathaniel saw it.

I did like Nathaniel just a little more after I heard that story. So yes, as much as I hate to admit it, I can add to the arsenal of anecdotal evidence that girls like a guy who can be just a little bit bad. Or at least participate in borderline inappropriate behavior.

After the date, when we arrived at the Elms, Nathaniel parked his car and turned off the engine. Neither of us moved to exit, instead continuing our easy chatter. When there was finally a lull in the conversation, Nathaniel said, “I’m not tired.”

“Me neither,” I replied.

“We should do something.”

It made me just a bit giddy that he didn’t want the night to be over, either. “Hot tubbing?” I asked.

“Yes!”

And so we went.

When people ask when I first started to really like Nathaniel, I say it was when I first saw him take his shirt off.

As we sat in the bubbly warm water, we discussed some political hot topic about which we completely disagreed. Eventually, Nathaniel said, “That’s okay. I’ll win you over anyway.”

I think I might have blushed. I couldn’t believe how giddy this guy could make me.

The next day, I woke up thinking of our amazing time together. I wondered if he was at work. I was itching to see him again, and almost went over to his apartment, when I remembered something: I just broke off my engagement four months ago. I just freaked out over the fact that my ex was dating someone else. I had issues.

I could not get into a relationship.

I didn’t think that hanging out with Nathaniel was off limits. And the occasional date was fine. But exclusivity—that I was not prepared for.

So instead of going over to Nathaniel’s apartment, I finished up some work for my externship and thought about how to branch out. I needed to hang out with other guys. I would just get myself sorta attached to several, so there was no way I could get too attached to Nathaniel!

Yeah, I was dumb. Well, I kinda still am.

Anyway, I kept dating other people. The guys I dated were, and in fact, are, amazing people. Truly. But when they asked me out for a third or fourth date, the rational part of me triumphed over the part of me that wanted to see where things would go. As much as I hated rejecting guys, I knew I needed more time unattached. Time to figure out who I was, what I wanted, and where my life was going. And I was enjoying every minute of it.

But when Nathaniel asked me out the third time, the rational part of my brain shut down completely. I just couldn’t turn him down. But, we hadn’t kissed or held hands yet, so there was really no relationship. Right?

Our third date was awesome because it was our first date with just the two of us. I’ve decided that group dates are best when you’re not that into your date. But when you actually like your date and want to spend time with him, I’m honestly just not in the mood to make conversation with other people.

We got Thai from Thai Ruby. I loved that Nathaniel didn’t bat an eye when I was overenthusiastic about certain dishes and ordered for him. I also loved it that he laughed along with me when the waitress “complemented” my hair my saying it looked like a party on my head. And I loved that he didn’t feel pressure to do any fancy date things. We went to a friend’s art show and then to Rock Canyon Park with some blankets to look at the stars. Cliché, I know. But I didn’t care. I just couldn’t get enough of this guy.

We lay about two feet apart, on our stomachs, chatting about the stars. I was to the point that I really wanted to cuddle with him, but of course I didn’t have the guts to make a move. I was elated when I felt Nathaniel’s hand on my upper arm and I immediately scooted over so he could hug me more. Don’t you love that feeling? When every spot where your bodies touch tingles with excitement, but it’s so innocent because it’s just cuddling? I thought it showed a lot of confidence on Nathaniel’s part that he just went for it like that.

By the end of the night, I wasn’t so sure I could reject him. Ever. Maybe I’d just have to risk him rejecting me, after all. And we’d only known each other for three weeks.

Much later, when we were engaged, I found out that Nathaniel’s “I’ll win you over” statement in the hot tub wasn’t referring to winning me over romantically, as I assumed, but instead winning me over to his way of thinking. And when he reached over to cuddle me? He was just trying to tickle me. Lame.