Mormon Housewife, J.D.

law school graduation, originally uploaded by sorahatch.

I have been having sleeping problems lately, so last night I read my entire blog. Apparently, my life is absolutely fascinating to me. But I noticed that if someone were to get desperate for something to do he or she would know that I have a husband, a kid, and Crohn’s disease, but not a lot else. So, random person, want to know something else about me? I have a law degree.

It’s not something I’m that proud of. I hate to have to say this, but every time I think about law school I am filled with regret. I started out at a really bad time. For some reason, when I got back from my mission, I was not the same student I was before I left. I had this ridiculous “I deserve a break” attitude. Also, most of my motivation for getting good grades was getting into law school. After I got in, I slacked. I didn’t realize, until it was too late, that law school grades REALLY MATTER, even if you don’t plan on working in a big firm. Also, just before my first year began, I got myself into an awful roller-coaster relationship that was more interesting than studying or figuring out how to master law school exams.

So I ended my first semester in the bottom half of the class. I got my work ethic back after I got married, but I could never climb out of the bottom half.

I rationalized that it was not a big deal. I mean, law school is filled with smart people. Being at the middle of the pack isn’t really a bad thing.

Except that when you know you didn’t try your hardest, your rank doesn’t matter. You will still always feel regret.

I’m still very glad I went to law school. My analytical skills could never have been as good as they are without law school. I know tons of cool, albeit random, bits of the law. With only one exception, my professors were awe-inspiring. I love the places that I worked throughout law school and my experiences there. And my class was chock-full of funny, smart, and kind people, many of whom I hope to remain friends with for a long time to come. These benefits of law school are priceless; well worth the sticker price of school, as well as any opportunity cost. And that is a lot of money.

But there’s the regret of not doing my best at such an important time. I can’t do anything about it now, but I can learn from my mistakes and not make them again. Summer is 12 weeks old today. I will never have a chance to be a mother to her when she is 12 weeks old again. So I will do the best I can with her every day while I strive to improve myself. And, hopefully, I can make some money so that I can start paying off that law degree.